Complacency Kills

Homemaking Should Be Hard Work

Last summer, I read Rachel Jankovic’s book No Time to Be Dumb. Though her intended audience is teenage girls, I nevertheless found it relevant to my own life. The major point of her book is this: before you know it, you will be a grown woman with children. Thus, you don’t have time to waste your teenage years with crushes, doomscrolling, eating disorders, and other frivolous things. “Redeem the time, for you have been redeemed,” Rachel writes.

Another major point of her book (and of her sister’s book Eve in Exile, as well) is that being a godly, fruitful woman is not for the faint of heart. Being a homemaker is not always glamorous or luxurious. It’s beautiful and rewarding, but creating a home is hard work. One does not automatically wake up as a virtuous, wise woman of god. It takes discipline, perseverance, and a heart that seeks Almighty God above all else.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this concept, especially as it relates to the current political context in which we live. If you have followed me for any period of time, you know I am a huge proponent of women being stay-at-home moms, submitting to their husbands, homeschooling their children, etc. However, I have seen a sentiment recently amongst both conservative and liberal women alike that makes me a bit concerned - the false mentality that being a homemaker is easy, always aesthetic, and always luxurious.

Women, even some on the political left, are being drawn to not having a career, being provided for by a husband, etc. This is a good thing. But, sometimes it appears that these women want to be provided for by a man and be a stay-at-home wife because they want to be lazy, e.g., they want to meet their gal friends for brunch and then get a manicure. These women are right to feel misplaced in their current culture; they know that working in a cubicle from 9-5 and living in a one-room apartment in New York is not a fulfilling life. However, that is no reason to assume that spending your husband’s money on a shopping spree and sleeping in is the only alternative.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not arguing that women should exhaust themselves physically or emotionally beyond their capacity, nor am I arguing that enjoying life is wrong. Scripture clearly teaches that women are the weaker vessel (1 Peter 3:7) and God gives good gifts for our enjoyment (Ecclesiastes 2:24-26). Nor am I arguing against brunch or manicures (I enjoy both). However, I simply want to push back against the sort of “slow living” sentiment of many modern American women.

The Proverbs 31 woman is described as a hard worker… she rises before dawn, she makes clothes for her household, she plants a garden, etc. “She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness” (vs. 27). A strong standing home, a hearth where Christ is honored, where your husband is helped, and your children are discipled, implies commitment, not complacency. Nothing beautiful is built without effort.

Laziness cannot produce lasting fruit. Proverbs 1:32 says, “For the simple are killed by their turning away, and the complacency of fools destroys them.” The word for complacency can also be translated as “quietness,” “ease,” or “prosperity.” In other words, falling into ease and laziness is not merely impractical; it’s self-destructive.

Our culture needs women (and men!) who shun complacency, ease, and luxury. Especially as (future) homemakers, as culture builders and makers of mores, we need to recognize homemaking as a task that will take sweat and tears, and much prayer and divine wisdom. This isn’t a reason to shirk our responsibility, but rather more reason to seek it (Lord willing). Being a homemaker may not always be glamorous, but it is glorious. Catch the vision, ladies. A minivan full of culture warriors doesn’t come without a cost.

“For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’” (Luke 14:28-30)